Sunday, December 25, 2005

Review: King Kong

I'm not happy that KING KONG has been a box-office bomb.... i'm ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC!!!!

KING KONG is one of the worst things i've ever had to sit through in my entire life! a completely worthless, self-indulgent, bloated, empty cgi-crap-fest juvenilia that sucks 3 valuable hours from your life and leaves you with nothing. If some idiotic universal studios exec want to give Peter Jackson free reign to play his schoolboy fantasies thats fine, but don't torture the general public with it!

i know now exactly why nobody wants to see this turkey, its far too long, slow and boring for kids (i could easily chop an entire 90 minutes out of this film without losing anything entertaining or significant) and its too empty-headed, childish and pointless for adults.

Seriously, if you've seen any other incarnation of Kong you don't need to see this. if you've seen JURASSIC PARK you don't need to see this. hell, if you've seen VAN HELSING you don't need to see this (in fact i thought i was watching VAN HELSING when T-Rex, Kong and the gang are all swinging from vines defying gravity).


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